two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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