hotel room ftw
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
