omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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