she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
