No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize