You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
