I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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