You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
