and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
