went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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