he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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