Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
