wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
