But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize