Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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