It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize