I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
