my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
