wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
