If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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