How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
