I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
