it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
