Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
