I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
