Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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