Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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