"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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