I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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