i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
