he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
