That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
