Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My penis needs a shock collar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
