Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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