Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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