the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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