I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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