How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need to calm my uterus...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
