Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
