So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
