now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize