people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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