who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek