Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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