Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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