Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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