Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
