my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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