well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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