I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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