I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
