getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
