Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize