just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
