Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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