Can Purell be used as lube?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
