Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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