Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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