I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm just crazy horny about you
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
