Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
