thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
