cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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