bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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