I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
