So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
