He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
